And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
