everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
