Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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