Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
