I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
