ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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