fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
