I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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