i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sober January is a disaster.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
