I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize