i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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