Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We had to coat check the pizza.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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