I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think my moral compass just broke
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