You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
