So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
