So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
