And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.