I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.