I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
