a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
