Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize