One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
