blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
