i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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