I want to stick my p in your. b.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
