Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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