I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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