I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
