im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
nutella sex= disaster
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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