things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
