The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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