Where is the hickey?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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