why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
