just come out here and I will go home with you...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
