It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize