it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
