Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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