I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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