My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
