We won't sleep together?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize