Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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