If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
