so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
