singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
