actually, I'm a sock model
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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