no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
