im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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