Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
