Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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