Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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