When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
