She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
