The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
