You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
