a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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