The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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