Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
