Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
