Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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