Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
